Off Duty Gamers

Occasionally we get bad advice…This is the case when I asked a good friend of mine about game titles. I pocketed a little cash on the side selling some old parts, and it was burning a hole in my pocket. I asked around about a few titles, and after speaking with my buddy, settled on Bioshock 2.

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure there are many fans of this game who would string me by my toenails after reading this review. But to put it in plain English, this game suc—er…leaves a lot to be desired.

If you have ever played Fallout 3, or Unreal Tournament, immediately you will recognize similarities. Graphics, and even some of the items bear a striking resemblance to Fallout, most notably the televisions and monitors scattered throughout the player area. Likewise, the game has the same 1950′s nostalgic feel to it.

In multiplayer, the influence of Unreal Tournament is seen using spontaneous taunts and insults thrown by various characters at a time the game deems appropriate. Likewise, you can designate a keyboard button to spit out taunts, in addition to typing them out on the keyboard or using voice chat. But let’s be realistic, the in game taunts are a little more friendly, right?

Graphically, this game has some nice settings and details; however, when it comes to the player models resembles something out of a Mardi Gras nightmare. Colors, lights and shading conspire to make you feel you are watching a Disney/Pixar/Tim Burton cooperative effort. Is it possible to be dark/gritty and exceptionally colorful at the same time? This game pulls it off and leaves my corneas aching.

The worst part of the whole game is the multiplayer version. As to be expected, a new player to the game is rather limited in their choices. You can two weapons, and there are only two to choose from, so you get a single barrel shotgun and a six shot revolver. Your competitors however may be higher levels and have everything from machine guns to grenade and rocket launchers. You also can choose two of three available Plasmids, or super powers for lack of a better term. These include the ability to freeze your opponent, catch him on fire, or you can go all Dark Emperor and throw lightning. But since you are in a city underwater, and the roof leaks, lightning is not always the best choice.

I forgot to mention the player models…sigh. You can choose from a jock wearing a football uniform with no helmet, a woman in a dress, a woman dressed up like Amelia Earhart, a man wearing a white suit and turban, a scrawny welder, or a fat man in pajamas. What makes it better is the mask….oooh boy. You can customize your character with goggles, a goat mask complete with horns, or pink bunny ears. I have seen other players at a higher level wear additional items ranging from a beaked mask to prison stripes, so I assume you can further customize as you advance. Unfortunately, I have not seen a “Butt naked with racing stripes” option yet.

Advancement is rather quick, and if you play, your first match without going up at least one level, then you pretty much walked away and ate a sandwich instead of playing. This opens up further Plasmids, Weapons and other abilities. Additionally you unlock challenges along the way, which give you even more points for completing them.

As you race through the map tossing flames, snowballs and throwing rounds downrange pay attention to your levels. Two things you need to be aware of are your ammo,  and your Plasmid levels, described as Adam and Eve. Don’t ask me why, I still haven’t figured that out. You can find locations and vials throughout the map, which refill these levels, but watch out! Sometimes your enemy can sabotage these locations, causing them to toss out an instant death trap to anyone caught in the area.

The action keys are different in several areas from other games (though standard movement keys remain the same). The process of joining a game is tedious, and there is no real definition of the game types, leaving the player to having to figure it out for themselves, leaving you wondering if you are on a quest for hidden treasure.  Hey, if the game is similar to “capture the flag” don’t you think developers could put that little detail in their description? Now it says here if I walk three steps, I can find the hidden key to unlock the super weapon the Masons hid in Lincoln’s nose…

Don’t expect to join servers here either. All players enter a lobby where you can chat about the weather and what not until enough people join, and then you can begin. You can host a private game, but try coordinating THAT. With each game type, there is a separate lobby, so you have to physically select to leave the game type you selected, then select another one, and hope you won’t be stuck in a Chat Room with some person in the basement of his parent’s house wearing a thong and greased up with olive oil.

But hey, wait! Don’t I have anything good to say about this game? No, I don’t. You’re either going to like this game, or you are going to hate it. The very fact that I spend about a third of the time in the player lobby waiting on other players to join tells me this title is not very popular.